Hotel Guests from Hell

I was reluctant to write this page, lest it encourage anyone. In addition, these people are so bad, that we try to blot them out as quickly as possible. However, having had just such a visitor, I thought I would relive the experience soon after the event, and add others as the mood, or the need for the cathartic value of writing it all down came to me

The Canadian and the bottle of wine

The coming and going of this couple happened with alarming speed, all by e-mail, with a wonderful faith that I would answer e-mails within a hour or so. . First an e-mail at 22.30 on a Thursday night asking for a room the following day. My immediate reply was not answered until 10.30 the following morning, and it said that he and his girlfriend would be arriving late. I replied, again by e-mail that we locked up at 23.00, and if they were going to arrive after that they should let us know.

No further contact until 22.45, when a car phone call informed us they were in a traffic jam east of Bristol (I reckoned about 3 hours drive from here). We said we would leave the door ajar for them, and a note of how to find their room

The following morning they did not (unsurprisingly) appear for breakfast. Later in the morning they went out, but did not say anything to us. The first time I saw them was when they were sitting in our lounge with a bottle of red wine that they must have brought with them, plus two expensive glasses that they had removed, without asking, from a cupboard in the dining room.

Being in a benevolent mood, I did not throw them out for failing the "Macdonalds test" for North Americans. In other words "would you be allowed to do that in Macdonalds". I rather think if you brought your own Cola into Big Macs, then they would take exception.

Anyway they appeared for dinner, and spent the who meal gazing into each others eyes, ordered coffee at the end of the meal, but disappeared without taking the coffee, but they did get a front door key. We did not see them again that night, or for breakfast the next morning. Checkout time came and went, but as I was busy doing other things I did not chase them out. The next contact was at 14.45 when they rang the bell to leave. Nothing was said about anything untoward that might have happened in the room.

Chris went to remove the sheets and towels about an hour later, and that's when we saw it. How the bottle of wine had been spilt was difficult to say. It had been on a bedside table, and in a moment of passion or in a drunken fumble, it had been knocked wildly over the room.

The curtains of the bed's corona, sheets, pillowcases, wallpaper, valence, lampshade and carpet were all covered in red wine splashes, plus the towel that they had attempted to mop the mess up with. Those of you who have any experience of red wine stains will know that red wine really stains.

Lampshade, sheets towel and pillowcases were past saving and had to be thrown away. The valence, wallpaper and curtains presented a difficult cleaning job, and the carpet will never be the same again. When I e-mailed the "gentleman" his response was "I believe that you are over stating the amount of damage caused" without even a whiff of an apology for the damage he had caused. I reckon he caused a good 500 worth of damage, but he failed to think it was worth even a mention on the way out.

As Mark Twain said "When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him". Old Mark had not thought of  tipping a  bottle of red wine over the furniture as well


                                                                  And if you want to stay in a nice hotel by the sea in Cornwall, Corisande Manor Hotel, Cornwall

                                                                                                       Corisande Manor Hotel, Newquay, Cornwall

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