Welcome to Fawlty Towers

 tower.gif (22323 bytes)                

Fawlty Towers is the everyday story of a hotel beside the sea in the West Country. Basil Fawlty ran a hotel beside the sea in the West Country. The only difference between Basil Fawlty and most hotel managers, is that it happens to Basil all the time, whereas to us lesser mortals it happens less often, but often enough to be uncomfortable.

You may like to ponder on two quotations from Mark Twain on hotels, both of which say a lot about the problems we hotel keepers face :-

"It is an art apart". Saint Francis of Assisi said, "All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a decent hotel." - Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898

"Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him...- My Father Mark Twain, Clara Clemens"

We bring you some of the trials and tribulations in the everyday running of a hotel. Contrary to the maxim,  the customer is not always right. We deal with thousands of people, so we do know what the norm  is, no matter what our own failings might be. Those things that fall outside the norm are the ones I comment  upon

Introduction I run an eminently respectable hotel right on the sea in Cornwall. We serve good food (we have an AA Rosette) and have an excellent wine cellar ( we won the Egon Ronay award for best wine cellar in Britain in 1995). We have a high AA quality rating.

But in spite of, or perhaps because of, our reputation, we still have our fair share of Fawlty Tower episodes. To save myself from libel lawyers, I have changed all names - so you may have difficulty spotting yourself and your particular foibles

Most of the events that appear quite funny afterwards are certainly not funny at the time. I have divided the stories up into sections, click on a topic, then take your pick of the various tit-bits under that heading. As they say in Yorkshire "there's nowt so queer as folk"


Food - waiter, there is a fly in my soup Weather - what's the weather forecast?
Wine - waiter, this wine is corked! Builders - they are not all Irish
Bathrooms - let the water flow Call a doctor - I think this man may be dead
Children - please keep them under control Call the Fire Brigade - the hotel is on fire
Dogs - do not let the dogs chew the carpet Complaints - the guest is not always right
Eclipse 1999 - will Cornwall sink under the masses Journalists - they are reptiles
Hotel Inspectors - quick hoover the rooms Guests' foibles - some are as mad as hatters
The Telephone - works both ways Staff - even worse than guests
Big Companies - never deal with large companies Americans - some of my best friends are Americans
Internet - we get all sorts on our web pages Bureaucrats - they outnumber us all
Guests from Hell - yes, we do get all sorts Basil Fawlty - he will come and see you for a fee

                            And if you want to stay in a nice hotel by the sea in Cornwall, Corisande Manor Hotel, Cornwall

                                                                                                       Corisande Manor Hotel, Newquay, Cornwall

                  And to find out about Cornwall we have a site telling you all about the county at

Cornwall Calling - Touring Information


Hotels of the World Good Hotels Guide

Hotels of Britain Hotels of Britain

Good Hotels USA Good Hotels USA


Fawlty Hotels site map